


he looks holy (and maybe he is)

by snwflwr



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Guardian Angels, And Lots of It, Angels and Demons, Angst, Crying, Detective Yoon Jeonghan, Doctor Hong Jisoo | Joshua, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Mentioned Nu'est Ensemble, Minor Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Temporary Character Death, it's not major character death if he doesn't stay dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:29:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29831868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snwflwr/pseuds/snwflwr
Summary: Jeonghan never heard ghosts growing up, let alone did he necessarily believe in angels or demons. He would always doze off when his grandma would take his sister and him to church. Walking around Hongdae always attracted weird people telling him he was surrounded by negative energies. Of course he was, he was a criminal investigator and it isn’t always sunshine and lollipops at the station.
Relationships: Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan
Kudos: 33





	he looks holy (and maybe he is)

**Author's Note:**

> i rushed the ending a bit but i wanted to get it out of my drafts :)  
> enjoy!

Jeonghan never heard ghosts growing up, let alone did he necessarily believe in angels or demons. He would always doze off when his grandma would take his sister and him to church. Walking around Hongdae always attracted weird people telling him he was surrounded by negative energies. Of course he was, he was a criminal investigator and it isn’t always sunshine and lollipops at the station. 

Serial cases of poisonings were reported in Itaewon starting in early September, an easy target when it was a place that drew many foreigners. Bodies were often found in back alleyways, some stabbed but all without their belongings. The killer tried making it seem random, something that wouldn’t immediately draw the police to them, but the high levels of arsenic in the bloodstreams of victims started the huge case that senior detective Yoon Jeonghan was the head of.

He wasn’t entirely fond of the position in the operation, it paid well but he was always the first to report at press releases and the older men and women at the station would take him as a punk. Maybe he did like to rustle some feathers, a couple dozen cases does that to a man but at the end of the day, he was the best investigator they had and this case needed him.

“Detective Yoon, has there been any progress in finding the killer?”

“Detective Yoon, the last reported killing was last week. Don’t you think they’re getting ready to strike again?”

“Detective Yoon, what has your team done to protect the people of Korea from this madman?”

“All I can say right now is we’re doing everything we can to catch the culprit. We have a team in itaewon patrolling the streets and keeping eyes on heavy foot traffic areas. A curfew was put into place but as we can not force everyone to comply, we hope for cooperation from everyone. Thank you.”

It wasn’t the best he had hoped for the first time showing his face as the lead, there was bound to be people crawling all over the articles saying he should have more empathy and shouldn’t be as cold. Jeonghan just simply couldn’t find it in himself to care about what others had thought of him in the moment because at night, he was the one risking his life by helping with patrol.

Jeonghan was fairly protective of the younger members of his division so when Hansol called in, saying his sister was sick and no one was home to take care of her, Jeonghan was more than willing to take his place in the patrol. Downside? Hansol’s position tonight was a solo movement and he was much more fit than the elder. 

The cold froze every inch of his body through his padded coat and hat, snow coming to land on top of his shoulders. Walking through alleyways wasn’t new to Jeonghan, he’s been through many of the same routes he walks now. The only unsettling thing this time around is the constant feeling of being watched even with the streets now being mostly empty. Every sound that occurred would cause him to turn quickly from the smallest rat to a slight gust of wind. He wasn’t paranoid, maybe just a bit overly cautious, at least that’s what he told himself.

“Sol, you owe me big time after this,” Jeonghan spoke to himself to fill the silence around him. For someone who enjoyed his alone time and quiet, he absolutely hated how empty the air felt. 

“Jeonghan, you’re needed on the west side. Dongho found something that might help us,” his walkie buzzes with Minhyun on the other side. He briskly walks to his car, not wishing to spend any more time alone in the dark. A quick acknowledgment is sent to the others before he speeds off towards their direction.

Jeonghan is a cautious driver, seeing as many hit and run cases as he has definitely helped in that sense. But, the car speeding towards him through the empty intersection isn’t something in his control as it hits him straight on the drivers side. The impact sends his car to the side, hitting a lamppost before coming to a stop. He tries to be quick as he can as the gash in his side is fueling the adrenaline in his body momentarily and falls to the sidewalk as he manages to get out on the passenger side. He tries to take in air but every breath he takes feels like hundreds of daggers enter his bloodstream.

The person from the other car had clearly escaped from the wreck as they’re nowhere to be in sight, meaning that whoever hit him had done it intentionally. He weakly grabs his walkie to call for help, his eyes going in and out of focus as all he can truly see is the red mixing with the pure white snow on the pavement. 

“Ah, shit.” He lets out a deep groan as adrenaline starts to wear off and he becomes very aware of every deep cut on his body, the pain overwhelming as he tries to not focus on the glass in his side. A few minutes pass by as the cold starts to numb his body, the frozen joints in his hands making it extremely difficult to hold in the blood spilling out of him. Sirens approaches as his vision fades out and Jeonghan can’t help but think of how unlucky he had to be for this turn of events.

“Jeonghan, stay with us. Come on!” Minhyun is grabbing onto his hand tightly, the other hand trying to press onto the biggest wound on Jeonghan’s side. Noises go muffled on his ears, his head feeling like it’s underwater. He tries to affirm the other that it’s fine but even if the words could come out, he wouldn’t believe himself either. The last thing he remembers is the flashing lights of the ambulance and yelling of medical code he never understood.

Yoon Jeonghan was pronounced dead a little past midnight, at least until his heart started beating the moment the doctors left his room. A medical mystery really, but the angel in the room knew exactly what happened.

“You weren’t supposed to die on me you know.” Jeonghan hasn’t even gotten the chance to register his beating heart before he notices the being dressed in white sitting by the window. He looks smug and weirdly like someone you could trust with your life. (Literally) 

“Who are you though? One of the doctors? And what do you mean dead, I remember getting hit but I only lost consciousness,” Jeonghan asks as the man moves closer to his hospital bed.

“Maybe I was a doctor before I died, god only knows. Choi Seungcheol, pro guardian angel and probably the biggest pain in your ass for the next few months. Fun fact, you were very much dead until I stepped in, which by the way only happens once so don’t get hit by a car again please and thank you.”

“Oh...wait what? Fuck wait, why did you save me then? I thought you were only supposed to keep me from doing stupid shit like staying up too late or doing drugs. And cool?”

“We both know divine intervention isn’t going to stop you from staying up late and you’re literally part of the police force, the last thing I’m concerned about is you screwing up your own life. On the other hand, people want you dead and resurrecting your ass has me without energy unless you help me save someone.” Jeonghan hopes the angel is joking but with his serious tone, he knows he isn’t messing around with him. 

“How can I even help though? Clearly I can’t do much as a human and if the person you want me to save isn’t even someone I know, I’m kinda at a loss here.”

Seungcheol sits on the bed and rubs his temples, “God, was I this whiny when I was alive?” He looks over at Jeonghan and laughs. “You’re gonna help me save Joshua Hong, he works as a nurse in this hospital and has a target on his back from the same people who tried to have you killed.”

Over the next week, Jeonghan learns that Seungcheol is, indeed, a pain in his ass and can also take a physical form but only does so when Jeonghan isn’t around people who would question it. Otherwise, Seungcheol becomes good company when Jeonghan is alone in his apartment. He teaches him recipes he recalls from when he was alive and talks to him when he isn’t feeling great. Seungcheol gives him a sad smile when Jeonghan says that maybe they would’ve been great friends in another life.

Jeonghan also learns that Joshua Hong lives on the same floor of his apartment complex, thus making it easier for him to find out more about him without having to track him down at the hospital.

“Hey! Jeonghan, right?” A voice calls from down the hall. Jeonghan turns around and sees a bright face in hospital scrubs looking right at him. “Oh, sorry. We haven’t formally met, I’m Joshua, I was one of the nurses who was in the ER when you came in. Glad to see you’re looking better.”

Jeonghan swears that if Seungcheol wasn’t an angel, the man in front of him sure was. “Ah yeah, thanks. It’s good to be alive.”

“What was that, seriously.” Seungcheol resounds in his head but he chooses to ignore it for now.

Remembering what Seungcheol said in the hospital, Jeonghan realizes he should take his chance to befriend the other. “Hey, as a thanks do you wanna get a coffee with me or something? I was heading out now and wouldn’t mind if you joined.”

“I would love that, just let me get changed real quick and I’ll be out.”

As they enjoy their drinks at the cafe across the street from their apartments, Joshua is quick to share that the doctors are still trying to figure out how Jeonghan is alive after losing as much blood as he did. “It just doesn’t make sense to any of us, you know? Like thank god you’re alive but with how much damage your organs took, you even walking is a miracle.”

“I guess I just had someone looking over me, got too much important stuff to take care of to die now.” Jeonghan smirks as he can hear Seungcheol losing his mind at the comment.

“Of course, your work is amazing. The way you handle all of the press in your position? I could never.” Joshua sips on his drink as a rosy hue shows on his cheeks. Jeonghan is just glad he isn’t being criticized for how he speaks on cases, it’s always been hard to stay professional while also showing his concern for the public.

They talk for about another hour before Joshua says he needs to get some rest for his night shift and hopes that next time he sees Jeonghan that it isn’t in a hospital bed. He carries on through work, hearing a long string of apologies from Hansol and how he hates that Jeonghan nearly died on a shift that he covered but also getting a “you shouldn’t have come in, you need rest.” He assured the younger that it was fine but more measurements were gonna be made to insure that no one patrolled by themselves.

“Your coworkers seem to appreciate you a ton, at least the ones your age and younger,” Seungcheol points out one day while Jeonghan is eating his dinner in his new, non-damaged car. It was a common occurrence as Jeonghan hated eating alone but never liked eating in the station break room.

“Yeah, most of us had gone through the academy and climbed to our positions together. A lot of our seniors have and still are pretty hard on us since we’re in positions they would rather be in, but we put in the work you know?” 

Jeonghan looks up Seungcheol that day and figures out that he is indeed the same age which starts to make him feel bad about how young he must’ve been when he died. He feels even worse when he finds that his death is still an open case, the only evidence being the arsenic in his system, making him the first confirmed victim of Jeonghan’s case is what makes him sick to his stomach. The beers in the fridge seemed to be the only thing that could numb his brain for a night.

“Did you know how you died? You know, before you resurrected my dead ass,” Jeonghan asks in the apartment, not entirely sober.

“No, not really,” Seungcheol responds softly. “I assumed there was a reason why I was assigned to look after you, there usually is. I’m sorry.”

“God no Cheol, if anyone is sorry, it’s me alright?” Jeonghan puts his hand on Seungcheol’s back. “I’ve been on this case for months and we’re gonna solve it no matter what.”

The next biggest leads are found a month and an attempt on Joshua’s life later. Jeonghan is lucky to be there when it happens, to both report the incident and protect the other. He happened to be walking towards Joshua’s apartment one evening when he noticed the door was slightly opened, not normal for the fact that Joshua didn’t even know that Jeonghan was coming over. He slowly creeps into the apartment, Seungcheol watching over as a second pair of eyes.

“There’s someone in the kitchen, they’re not armed but there are knives and I’m sure they’re going to try and grab one.” Jeonghan isn’t worried about knives, he’s had enough self defense and disarmament training to get through that one, He’s just more worried about where Joshua is. “In his room, he knows someone broke in.”

Jeonghan calls the station knowing that if anything goes wrong, back up is better safe than sorry. Moving towards the kitchen, he keeps his steps silent as possible to not alert the intruder of his presence. He can see a man crouched down behind the island, his back turned towards the front door giving Jeonghan an opportunity to get him fully onto the ground and wait until others come to fully arrest him. 

Joshua comes out of his room once the intruder has been pulled out of the apartment. He rushes over and wraps his arms around Jeonghan, tears in his eyes.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay, you’re safe now. Look at me, no one is going to hurt you, I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” Jeonghan hates that he can’t promise that everything he was saying was true, he hates that Joshua clearly hasn’t done anything wrong but still has a target on his back. “You can come stay with me if you need to, it’s up to you if you’d like.”

“Please, if it’s not too much, I don’t wanna invade your space.” Jeonghan nearly melts when Joshua finally has somewhat of a smile on his face when he tells him it’s completely fine and that he’d probably sleep better knowing he’s safe. 

When Jeonghan goes to make tea for himself that night, Joshua comes walking out of the spare bedroom that is partially used as an office. 

“Oh, sorry if I woke you up. Would you like some?” As Joshua nods, Jeonghan pulls another mug out and invites him to sit at the counter with him. “How are you feeling?”

“I guess I’m just still in shock but I’m glad you were there. The police told me what you did and I can’t thank you enough for stepping in.” Joshua looks like he’s about to start crying again when Jeonghan puts a hand on his knee.

“I’m not gonna lie, I’m shit at trying to comfort people but please text or call me if you need anything. I don’t care if it’s something like just a hug or someone to listen to you.” Joshua gives a soft smile and sips his tea.

They sit in a comfortable silence before Jeonghan gets up to go to bed. 

“Hey uh, sorry if this is overstepping any boundaries but do you mind staying with me? Like until I fall asleep, if not that’s totally fine too I just kinda don’t want to be alone.” Joshua looks at the floor as if he’s ridiculous for such a request but Jeonghan grabs his hand and leads him into his room as the bed is big enough for the both of them rather than the full sized in the spare. He softly threads his fingers through Joshua’s hair, fiddling with the strands as he watches him slowly close his eyes. Jeonghan falls asleep to the other’s soft breathing and gets the best sleep that he’s had in a long time.

Jeonghan wakes up in the morning to arms wrapped around his waist and Joshua very much curled up against him, mouth open in a soft snore. He gently moves his arms off of him and makes his way into the kitchen to make breakfast for them.

“I told you to help protect him not fall in love with him, but look at you doing both,” Seungcheol says while “leaning” on the counter. He wasn’t in a physical form but could still interact with the surroundings and him acting more human made Jeonghan more comfortable.

“I’m not in love with him, I can’t deny him being attractive but he probably thinks way differently.” Jeonghan continues to pour his coffee, not knowing if Joshua would want one but still taking a mug out in case.

“Oh come on, you literally looked like a deer looking into headlights the first time you saw him, admit you’re whipped and we can all be happy.” 

Seungcheol wasn’t entirely wrong and that was something Jeonghan had come to learn that he hated to admit. He was stubborn when it came to opening up to people, he felt like it just put others in danger with his line of work. Clearly, as Joshua had just been doing his job when he earned the target on his back from a killer. Joshua was special though, at least to him. Most people were quick to assume the cold demeanor was just who Jeonghan was and that he never got too close to anyone because he was too full of himself.

The first time Jeonghan had spent time in the other’s apartment, he had started to realize how much he had actually been affected by his near death experience and was forever grateful that Joshua was the one there to comfort him. It had felt like an avalanche, Joshua had asked if he had any pains from the “accident” and Jeonghan began to think about exactly how much pain he was in and how Minhyun sobbing was the last thing he heard before a deafening ringing in his ear then nothing at all. He hadn’t noticed Joshua hugging him until his breathing began to slow down, the warmth bringing him back to reality, ensuring him that he was in fact alive.

Joshua recommending him a therapist was the start of Jeonghan allowing someone to take care of him even in the slightest. Jeonghan learned coping mechanisms from him, opening up about his anxieties and fears.

So maybe Jeonghan could be in love. Truly wouldn’t be the most off rail thing that had happened to him in the past year and at this rate, certainly won't be the last. Joshua walking into the kitchen, bed head and all, felt like it could be a new normal if that’s what the other wanted too. 

“Hey sleepy, did you want a coffee?” Though Seungcheol knows that Joshua can’t see him, he’s looking at him like he would stop being a guardian angel if he said no. What could he say, angelic wingman sounded pretty cool given that he did have wings. 

Joshua has a soft smile on his face as he nods, warmly accepting the mug Jeonghan had already poured. His shoulders visibly relax as he takes a sip of the hot sweetness. “I usually don’t drink coffee but not gonna lie, this tastes heavenly.”

“This dude has gotta know I’m here, there’s no fucking way.” Seungcheol has built a habit of dying a little more whenever Joshua or Jeonghan reference anything “angelic” or “godly” because he believes it’s always so far off from reality.

The two humans go on with their oddly domestic lives, saying they’ll see each other for dinner before parting ways to go to work.

“Jeonghan, we have a lead on the case and honestly it’s making our lives way easier than we expected. The guy who hit your car didn’t use a stolen car, he used his own. So even though background checks were so backed up, he was an easy find.” Minki had been one of Jeonghan’s close investigators for the past few months as if anything happened to Jeonghan to where he could no longer be involved, Minki was next in line.

“Is he in custody? We probably need to question him as soon as possible, who knows if he’s connected or acting alone.”

“Yeah, you don’t have to be the one to question him you know. I know you usually do but I could do it.” Minki has genuine concern in his eyes as he speaks, knowing how Jeonghan has been suffering from anxiety since his near death experience. 

“I can do it, but I would like you to be the first in the room. He might react differently if he thinks you’re the one interrogating him.” Jeonghan grabs the files from Minki and hands him a folder with blank papers to make it seem like he’s coming prepared with all the information to fully arrest the suspect.

The suspect is calm as Jeonghan watches him sit across from Minki, no signs of him being blatantly nervous. But as Jeonghan steps into the room, a smile grows on his face.

“Lee Hyunshin, I’m assuming you know who I am. Considering you hit me with your own car and left me to die, doesn’t seem like an accident.” Jeonghan feels comfortable in the moment, the man is handcuffed and shows no obvious threat to him.

“I’d do it again if I had the opportunity, to be honest.” He has malice in his voice as he speaks, not like anyone was expecting him to be the most happy person in the room.

“I appreciate the honesty Mr. Lee, frankly enough I do hope you keep that honesty for the rest of your time with me and my partner here. It won’t help your case in court per say, but it does make my job a bit easier. So you intentionally hit my car, probably hoping to kill me, but was this a job for only you or is there others?”

“There’s a lot of people who want you dead, clearly I’m not the only one. You want to know who else is on my list? Over my dead body.” The man is smug, not quite yet desperate but there is a waiver in his voice.

The door to the interrogation room is opened as Hansol peeks his head in, “Investigator Choi, you’re needed on the floor.” Minki puts a hand on Jeonghan’s shoulder before leaving the room, giving him an affirming nod.

Jeonghan looks at the man still sitting across from him, his face empty as Jeonghan tries to gauge the situation.

“They’re probably dealing with my people right now. I’m sorry, but I think our time here today is over.” The smug smile returns to his face as he clenches his jaw and clearly bites down on something. Foam comes out his mouth as his body goes lax in the chair.

“Fucking hell.” Jeonghan quickly grabs his walkie, “We have a dead suspect, I need everyone on the floor finding everyone he is connected to. I don’t care if it’s his family or even just who he gets his morning coffee from, this is urgent.”

Minhyun approaches Jeonghan as he rushes out of the room, “What the hell happened in there?”

“Arsenic tooth, we stopped looking for the shit years ago because it stopped being a common escape route. He knew he wouldn’t escape a severe sentence and wouldn’t have any contact with the outside world so he did himself in. Someone he’s connected to must be planning something tonight, they have to be.”

“Are you saying this isn’t someone working alone?” If Minhyun wasn’t so close to Jeonghan, his questions would’ve earned him a black eye at this rate.

Jeonghan stops in his track and takes a deep breath, “There’s no other way right? Why would he kill himself and speak as if he’s part of a gang?” He ends up locking himself in his office as if it’ll keep all of the distractions out for him to focus on the case at hand. Every half hour, someone peeks in to give him more findings, but never enough to give him exactly what he needs. 

An emergency curfew is put in place, all restaurants and shops are to be closed by seven o’clock sharp to get people home before the sun fully sets. Jeonghan sees a notification come in from Joshua during the break Minki forced him to take by locking him out of his own office.

From: Shua [21:34]

Sorry I couldn’t make it out of work on time for dinner but I saw the curfew, are you doing alright?

He doesn’t have the heart to say that this is probably the most stressed he’s been in his entire career so he settles on telling Joshua to come to the station since the thought of anything happening to him kills him on the inside. Luckily Joshua happens to work at the hospital that’s only a few blocks from the station so sending someone to escort him is a breeze.

Joshua greets Jeonghan with a hug when he enters the building, clear relief between the two. They sit and drink instant coffee in the break room, not exactly how they had planned having a meal together. Joshua is the first to speak up, “How much longer before you think you can go home?”

“It’s hard telling honestly, I’d hate to leave the others here to do everything in a time like this.”

“Actually we wouldn’t mind if you went home, we’ll call you if we get any major lead but for now you’re useless to us if you’re not well rested.” Minhyun had walked into the break room with Hansol in tow, both of them already in casual wear to get ready for the long night ahead.

“You sure? I don’t mind-”

“We know you don’t, hyung. But from a non coworker standpoint, I think you should go home and get some sleep,” Hansol interrupts. Joshua looks over to Jeonghan as if to say “they’re right” and it’s enough for him to be persuaded.

On the walk home, they stand close enough that their fingers brush each other occasionally but they choose to not acknowledge it. Jeonghan knows that the reason behind him meeting Joshua and becoming so close wasn’t in his own will but he’s come to welcome the urge of protecting someone and the comfort that comes with it being reciprocated. Joshua wasn’t just someone who had been told to look out for anymore, he was more than that by now and he didn’t know it.

Seungcheol had once said that Jeonghan was more than welcome to try and explain the situation but he couldn’t promise that Joshua would take it well, let alone believe what he was saying. The main concern was that Joshua would refuse to accept any help as his relationship with Jeonghan had become less platonic than a normal friendship, that he would feel as making him fall in love with Jeonghan was the only way they could keep him safe. Assuming that Joshua was falling like Jeonghan was of course.

“Do you believe in angels?” Jeonghan asks to fill the silence. He knows that Seungcheol is rolling his eyes but he wants to test the waters. 

“Like just in general or?”

“Guardian angels mostly but yeah in general, sorry it was a stupid question,” he trails off, a little embarrassed.

Joshua reaches the small distance it takes to grab Jeonghan’s hand and stop them from walking. “It’s not a stupid question, random yes but, yeah I would say I do. Or at least I’d like to believe they exist, you know. It’s nice to think that someone out there is constantly looking out for you. Even if they don’t actually exist, I’d consider you my guardian angel.”

Fuck. Jeonghan’s heart is about to leap out of his chest at his words. “Would you believe me if I said they’re real and the reason I can stand next to you right now?”

“I would like it if you would elaborate but you going from very much dead to very much alive does feel suspicious.”

They sit with hot tea once arriving back at Jeonghan’s apartment that Joshua has found himself spending more time at than his own as Jeonghan had been more comfortable in his own space. “So basically long story short, I’m in debt with my guardian angel that is also kind of yours too as he brought me back to life after I died. The catch is that I have to make sure you make it through this case and the end of the year because he’s basically powerless right now.”

“Oh...that’s a lot, wow. It’s December though, shouldn’t we be fine soon?” Joshua looks so innocent as he speaks and it could almost break Jeonghan’s heart in half.

“That’s what we’re all hoping.” Seungcheol gives no warning when he appears in the room, sitting in the middle of the floor. He waves at a wide eyed Joshua and a very unamused Jeonghan. “Name is Seungcheol or you can shorten it to Cheol like this one over here who gave me a nickname after knowing me for a week.”

“Wait so when I’ve walked in on you when you’re ‘on the phone’, you were-.”

“Actually talking to him? Yes, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I didn’t want you to get the wrong idea.” Jeonghan starts to get nervous the more Joshua speaks and hopes his words are coming out as clear as they are in his head.

“What do you mean wrong idea? He’s literally a guardian angel, I don’t think there’s much room for me to misunderstand.”

“I’m going to leave for a bit so you guys can talk more…” Seungcheol vanishes, leaving the two on the couch in silence. Joshua grabs Jeonghan’s hands to keep him from fidgeting and looks him in the eyes.

Jeonghan has to take a deep breath before he speaks, “I really like you and I didn’t want you to think that I was just getting to know you so I could save your life and dip just because I have a holy debt.”

“I really like you too, I don’t think that was something you needed to worry about. I work in a hospital, you know, it takes a lot to phase me.”

“No Joshua, I mean I like you. I definitely only had planned to stick this out until I was in the clear but you’ve helped me so much and no one has ever been there for me like that. I have the guys at the station but you just know when to be there and I could never be more grateful.” Jeonghan feels out of breath as he rushes his words out. Joshua has a fond look on his face as he looks at their intertwined hands.

Jeonghan closes his eyes as he thinks he’s about to reject him right before he feels a light kiss on his forehead. He opens his eyes to see that Joshua is right in front of him, both of their foreheads touching and lips mere centimeters away from each other. Joshua’s hands are resting on the back of his neck and Jeonghan feels so warm from his touch. 

“I knew what you meant and I stand by what I said, Jeonghan. It’s only been about a month and a half but you mean the world to me. Let’s go on a date when this is all over, yeah?” Jeonghan gives a small nod before leaning in to give Joshua a kiss, softly but it’s all he could’ve ever wanted.

Jeonghan is naive for thinking that confessing would lessen his nerves around Joshua but instead he finds his worries to be stronger as the two become ever closer. He hides the fact that he now receives letters at the station that start to mention the other in detail.

“What if the one behind all if it isn’t human,” he inquires to Seungcheol one afternoon during his lunch. “It would make sense at least to me as you know everything I do and have helped find more but you’ve only been able to trace so much.”

“Are you implying demons are poisoning humans?”

“In a sense? What if they’re too weak to attack with demonic powers or whatever they have, it could happen right?” Seungcheol is deep in thought at the question but is more amazed that he hadn’t thought of the idea himself.

“It could be possible, but that’s not something you’d be able to bring up without sounding absolutely insane.”

Jeonghan begins to focus his research and comes to a conclusion that the person who killed Seungcheol is now under demonic control and can not be traced for that reason. He sees it as a reasonable explanation that hundreds of ancient translated texts helped him come to but it does nothing but worries him as he doesn’t see how he can protect Joshua until the end. 

“How can I help?” are the dreaded words that come from Joshua’s mouth one night.

“You look out for yourself and call me if there’s any trouble but otherwise stay out of it.” Jeonghan doesn’t want to think about what could happen if Joshua gets even more involved than he already is, he promised Seungcheol he would protect him and he intends on keeping his word. Clearly it wasn’t what Joshua wanted to hear as he goes to speak but Jeonghan had already left the room before he gets a word in.

It’s Christmas by the time Jeonghan is able to find the killer’s identity. The release of his name sends the entirety of Korea into a lockdown as the man is nowhere to be found but has no trace of leaving the country. Police patrol the streets day and night in search but are told to report to Jeonghan the second they get a lead. Never in his life had Jeonghan felt like he had the eyes of an entire country on him like he does now and it’s terrifying to say the least. The holidays seem meaningless but he still tries to have dinner with Joshua as both of them aren’t able to spend it with their families.

It’s the night before New Year’s Eve when Jeonghan is out on a patrol with Minhyun, his pocket heavy with a bracelet he plans on giving to Joshua for his birthday. Minhyun starts small talk, asking about Joshua and their relationship. Jeonghan of course spares details but admits that he could see a future with the other, a comforting thought. They’re interrupted when Jeonghan’s phone’s ringer cuts through the silence, Joshua’s name showing on the caller ID. He answers it quickly as Joshua tends to text before he calls as he hates to interrupt while Jeonghan is at work.

“Joshua, is everything al-”

“Oh, your pretty boy answered, maybe he does have a heart after all.” The voice on the other side sends a chill through his bones, the harsh tone a polar opposite from Joshua’s velvety voice. Jeonghan can hear Joshua try to speak before a loud crack rings through the speakers. “Lover boy here hasn’t been able to shut up about you, Detective Yoon. I’d suggest you’d hurry to the harbor before the situation escalates, would hate for him to die alone. Oh and of course, don’t bring any of your buddies, they’ll just make a mess of the place.” The line cuts out and Jeonghan’s phone drops from his hand. He can’t feel a thing as he looks up at Minhyun in fear.

“He has Joshua and wants me to come alone. Fuck, Minhyun, what am I going to do?”

“We can track you as you go, we’ll figure this out, Jeonghan. I promise you we won’t let anything happen to him, just go.” 

Jeonghan doesn’t think twice before sprinting to the patrol car, speeding through the empty streets of Seoul. The street lights and the night sky normally would feel peaceful but at the moment they feel like they’re simply lighting the way to his worst nightmare.

“You know, I can only help so much and he won’t hesitate to kill him if I show myself. I’m sorry I can’t do more, Jeonghan.” Seungcheol’s voice echoes through his head as he drives.

“Please for christ’s sake do not speak like that. We have to see it through, there’s no way that Joshua isn’t fucking leaving that building alive.” Jeonghan has never felt more desperate to believe in his own words, even while dying he was ready to accept a harsh reality.

Jeonghan is ready to curse the world as it starts snowing once he makes it to the shipyard, screaming out Joshua’s name as he runs building to building. He finally sees a building with a light shining from the inside and he prays that someone other than Seungcheol is watching over him right now.

“Please be careful, he might try to trap you,” Seungcheol speaks with concern that he tries to hide but fails to do so.

His worst nightmare does indeed wait for him between the four walls of the rundown warehouse as he sees a bound Joshua in the middle of the structure. Blood is caked on the side of his face, clothes ripped and numerous bruises visible even from a distance. Jeonghan runs to check on him but the lights go out and when they turn on, Joshua is no longer in the middle of the room.

“Where is he?! If I’m the one you want then leave him alone!” Jeonghan’s voice echoes through the building, voice shaking as he screams. He tries to get a grip but there’s no response other than a sudden shrill noise that instantly sends him in a panic before there’s another blackout.

Jeonghan is no longer in an abandoned warehouse, he is now standing on a street corner watching as Minhyun holds his lifeless body. He can feel the snow and hurt in Minhyun’s cries as the ambulance takes him away. The street corner fades away and he sees his mom in his childhood home, drinking over the loss of his father. He’s once again at his mother’s funeral after she could no longer take the pain of losing the love of her life and countless hours working. He sees his sister weep alone as he couldn’t come until late as he was at the academy.

Yoon Jeonghan had lived a life filled with misfortune, a magnet to negative energies that fortune tellers in Hongdae would say followed him everywhere he went. It was never that he didn’t believe in anything the older women would tell him, it was denial. Like anyone else who had suffered through their entire life, Jeonghan wanted nothing more than comfort and he had found comfort in a man named Joshua who always had warm skin from being in the sun and would always listen to his rambling when he got nervous. The months of stress and walking on tip-toes for a case would be worth it if all he could have is Joshua.

“What do you want?” Jeonghan speaks into the darkness and hopes for an answer. “I never learned at the academy how to fight demonic energies but I’ve been told if there’s a will, there’s always a way and by God have you fucked up by taking him away from me.”

“Hah, that’s a lot of talk from a human who didn’t survive a car crash only a few months ago.” Light returns to the room and Joshua is there again but a man is crouched down in front of him. Jeonghan wants nothing more than to get him to safety immediately but knows that isn’t going to be possible just quite yet. The man pulls Joshua’s head up by his hair and it takes everything in Jeonghan to not take his gun from his holster. “He’s pretty tough, or at least tries to be. Broke his leg and he still put up a fight, interesting really. I guess you can come see him, might be the last time depending how this plays out.”

Jeonghan approaches as the man steps aside and realizes that Joshua is still conscious. Tears freely flow out of Jeonghan’s eyes as he takes the ropes off of him, grabbing and holding his hands tightly.

“Hannie, you’re here?” Joshua’s voice comes out tired and rough, a sound that Jeonghan hopes to never hear again.

“Of course, I needed to be. I promised you and Seungcheol that we’d make it through the year.” Joshua tries to wipe away Jeonghan’s tears but flinches once he lifts his arm.

“It hurts a lot, Hannie.” His words feel like a bullet through the heart and Jeonghan is filled with nothing but pure rage.

“What would you do if I just tried to walk out with him? Would you kill us before we reached the door or would you let us go, letting us think we could be safe before you hunt us down again?” Jeonghan asks the man who does nothing but laugh.

“I admire your nerve since there’s really nothing stopping me from killing you right at this moment.”

“There’s also not much stopping me from trying to kill you right now either, I just like to consider my options.” Taunting a demon probably isn’t the smartest idea from the playbook but he was just buying time at this point. Jeonghan wasn’t ready to admit that he was scared shitless, it was one thing to die once but with Joshua’s life on the line too, it was a whole different situation.  
Against any good judgement, he picks up Joshua to set him down in a corner and leaves his gun with him. Jeonghan tries to not shake as he takes off his thick jacket and lays it on top of Joshua with a gentle “stay here”.

Jeonghan feels both light on his feet and heavy as a brick as he walks back towards the man standing in the center. He feels like he’s moving in slow motion as he comes face to face, making eye contact with the man and his completely black eyes.

“What’s your choice? Are you going to die trying to fight this out?”

“What other choice do I have? Divine intervention saved me once, who knows, today could work out for me since I’m pretty pissed you decide to hold my boyfriend hostage on his birthday.” Seungcheol is scared at this point as he has no clue if Jeonghan is just being cocky or if using an immense amount of angelic energy to resurrect him has given him an advantage.

The demon goes to swing at Jeonghan but isn’t quick enough for him to get hit. Jeonghan decides to try and wear out his opponent before he tries to make an attack, saving most of his stamina for the end. Dodging the first few blows comes almost too easy until he miscalculates and can’t dodge the fist that lands right in his gut, sending him flying backward towards the ground. He puts out a hand to tell Joshua to not move even though the hit has him coughing up blood.

Getting up from the ground, Jeonghan sees the veins in his arms glowing a light blue all the way down until his finger tips. Maybe divine intervention was going to be on his side tonight. He gets a running start as he throws his forward right into the other’s collarbone, earning a loud crack that can be heard across the warehouse. The demon screams in pain as he tries to move his now injured arm. The reaction buys enough time for Jeonghan to send a kick down onto the other shoulder, rendering both arms mostly immoblie. Jeonghan hears a non stop ringing in his ears and it just fuels him to send one hit after another.

“You’re going to kill him at this rate.” Seungcheol tries to grab Jeonghan out of his blind rage but the effort goes unnoticed. “Jeonghan. Stop!”

Tears flow once again from his eyes as the demon falls unconscious and lays on the floor. “He killed you though, he’s killed so many people and he was going to kill Joshua too. The asshole deserves it Cheol, how can you tell me to not just end it right here?”

“Jeonghan, you have pure angelic energy in you right now, the second you kill him you’re damned to hell. It doesn’t matter that you’re killing a demon, there’s still a human inside of that body. He’s possessed, god damn it.” Jeonghan sees the heavy rise and fall of the man’s chest as he tries to breathe.

He doesn’t know what comes over him but he reaches down and presses his palm to the man’s chest, slowing his breathing as he closes his eyes. When he opens them again, he’s no longer in the warehouse. Seungcheol stands beside him as they both look at an ominous black, faceless figure that is a stark contrast in the bright white room.

“That is what you want to fight, if you want to take out any anger, take it out on that.”

Jeonghan feels lightning flow through his fingertips as he simply points at the demon and a loud shriek fills the room. He lets out all of the frustration in his heart, the years of pain and damage reflecting onto the monster in front of him. He’s crying once again as the demon disappears, Seungcheol making sure that it’s gone for good. He puts his hand on Jeonghan’s shoulder and speaks. Jeonghan feels the sensation of his head being underwater again but he swears he hears a “thank you” before he blacks out.

A low, consistent beep accompanied by the familiar sound of fluorescent lighting fills his ears once he gains consciousness again. He’s scared to open his eyes, scared to hear what may have happened while he was out. Though he’s not ready to face reality, he opens his eyes to see an empty hospital room. He tries to sit up but a sharp pain in his ribs prevents him from doing so. The door to his room opens and in walks Minhyun with a tray of food.

“Oh you’re awake, how are you feeling?” He knows Minhyun means well but the question seems rhetorical given that he’s currently laying in a hospital bed.

“Like complete shit, what happened?” Minhyun sets down the tray that contains a clear soup and a small bowl of rice and gestures to Jeonghan for him to eat before he starts speaking.

“We hadn’t heard from you in nearly three hours so we went to check and found Joshua unconscious and you barely alive. You were airlifted to the nearest hospital and went in for emergency surgery since one of your ribs were broken and had punctured your lung. You’ve been in a coma for the past three days.”

“It’s January?” It hits Jeonghan, Joshua made it through the new year.

“Happy New Year dude, you’re going to be out of work for the next two weeks.”

“Yeah cool, where’s Joshua?” The door opens and the face he’s been looking for walks in on crutches and covered in bandages. Jeonghan’s heart aches knowing how much pain he must be in but is so glad he’s alive. Minhyun helps him sit in the chair next to the bed and takes his leave. They sit in silence as tears fall from the both of them, Jeonghan firmly grasping onto Joshua’s hand. “You made it, you’re here.”

“It’s all because of you, Hannie. You actually saved me.” Jeonghan musters all of his strength to sit up and feels relief flow through his body as he hugs Joshua as tight as he can. Sobs wrack his entire body as every emotion he’s felt in the past months spill out and he can only describe it as peace. 

Jeonghan is discharged from the hospital three days later after he’s physically able to get up on his own and is advised to not put too much strain on himself. He tells Joshua what he saw that night at the warehouse as telling his therapist feels like a one way ticket to more medication. Joshua listens and soaks in every word before telling the rest of what happened that night.

“You were quite literally glowing and there was pure silence besides Seungcheol trying to get you to stop. Whatever you did when you reached down to that man, light filled the entire room, you were like a beacon of some sort. I blacked out shortly after and woke up in an ambulance, they told me you were fine as they put the cast on my leg.”

The man behind the murders was sentenced to prison for life since he was still aware of everything he did even though the demon in his body was just an aggressor for his acts.

Seungcheol is assumed to have left after helping Jeonghan eradicate the demon and Jeonghan can’t help but feel lost as he felt as if he had lost a friend. He had always asked what would happen when new year arrived but Seungcheol had always dodged the question, maybe because he too didn’t want to accept an inevitable parting. Joshua finds the location of his grave one day and tells Jeonghan but never pushes for him to go even though he believes it could help him find closure.

When Jeonghan finally finds it in him to visit the cemetery in his free time, he finds a man already sitting by Seungcheol’s grave. He introduces himself as Jihoon, Seungcheol’s childhood best friend. They talk for a while and Jihoon never asks how Jeonghan knew his friend but instead finds comfort that someone else speaks so fondly of him.

“You know, call me crazy but sometimes I feel like he’s looking out for me. Maybe it’s just me trying to remember him as such a positive person since he was, he really was. But on my bad days, I can hear him telling me it’s going to be alright and it gets me through.” Jihoon is very soft spoken as he speaks but his words hold nothing but admiration as he smiles.

“I don’t think that’s crazy, maybe it’s possible that he’s an angel or something.”

“Or something sounds about right, he was wicked insane sometimes but he had a heart of gold. Thank you, for talking with me I mean. It’s good to hear that someone else still thinks about him, the real him and not just how he died.” Jihoon has been hurt, it’s obvious in the way he carries himself but Jeonghan can’t help but feel that he’s also so strong for carrying on for Seungcheol. 

Once Jihoon leaves after exchanging numbers, Jeonghan sits on the cold ground in front of the grave in silence. He doesn’t necessarily feel sad, he feels like he was prepared for the day that Seungcheol no longer was an entity in his head. The sky opening up and the warm sun peeking down on him is enough for Jeonghan to know that he’s still with him.

On days that he needs to clear his head, Jeonghan visits the cemetery, sometimes with Jihoon and sometimes with Joshua. He likes to think that even if he isn’t there physically, it’s where Seungcheol’s energy is the strongest. Even though he can’t visit frequently due to work and now spending so much time with Joshua, he finds time to visit on Seungcheol’s birthday. He approaches with flowers when he sees a small, black kitten laying right by the headstone. Jeonghan lays the flowers down and sits by the grave, eyes still on the resting animal as it’s chest slowly rises and falls. He laughs, Seungcheol had always gotten distracted by animals when they would sit during lunch. The kitten wakes up and notices Jeonghan, stretching as it walks toward him, gently pawing at his leg. 

A folded note remains where the kitten originally lay, the parchment a pale beige with a golden seal. Jeonghan is hesitant to grab the note but feels a certain warmth once his skin makes contact with the paper. The seal almost breaks on it’s on when Jeonghan opens the note.

“Dear Jeonghan,

I’m sorry I couldn’t give you a proper goodbye, it didn’t seem fair to either of us but please know it wasn’t my intention. You’re way stronger than I thought you would be when I first got assigned to you, thank you for proving me wrong. Please take care of Joshua, yeah? He’s got the right spirit for someone who’s been through so much and you guys deserve each other. Feel free to tell Jihoon that I do think about him too, he might not believe you at first but I trust you to tell our story. Also surprise, I know it’s my birthday but I left you a gift, she’s a wonderful little thing.

Best wishes, Seungcheol.”

Jeonghan had been absent mindedly petting the kitten on his lap as he read the note. He doesn’t feel sad as he finishes the note, it feels like a calm after a storm after he finally knows where his guardian went. Joshua was right about finding closure in the cemetery, Jeonghan no longer felt like he had to come here to feel like Seungcheol was with him. When Jeonghan goes to leave, kitten in his arms, he thinks of how he’s going to tell Joshua that their angel best friend left them a cat.

Jihoon is the one to name the cat, Jeonghan and Joshua only felt like it was right after they told him the story of how they knew Seungcheol. Cherry is what he names her with no hesitation and it fits. “Seungcheol liked cherries and always said it sounds like the English word ‘cheery’,” he says with a fond smile on his face. Joshua tells Jeonghan one night that he thinks Jihoon might have loved Cheol more than he’d admit but they agree to never ask.

Yoon Jeonghan had learned that his past sorrows may have helped him become who he was, but they weren’t all that he was. He felt that he was actually quite fortunate despite everything that had happened. His public image changes as he shows more compassion towards those directly affected by the cases he gets assigned to, often reaching out to victims and their families. He becomes the “guardian angel” of Seoul and he wears the title with pride.

The last therapy session Jeonghan goes to a year later is when he feels like his life couldn’t be better. His therapist tells him that he’s done a great job on finding what brings him joy and what keeps him grounded. Joshua makes plans with him as soon as he gets out of the clinic to go to a botanical garden and he feels love within the sweet smell of the flowers. He never thought he would find himself proposing only a year after knowing Joshua but he feels like it was fated when he gets an overjoyed “yes.


End file.
